Are you called?

Several years ago I attended a workshop with Scott Dyer at the Willow Arts Conference. He spoke about their volunteer culture at their church and gave some great insights into the differences between being a volunteer and a called servant of Jesus. There is so much truth to this list and I recently came across it in some of my files. I thought I would share it for those of you who are either "volunteers" or who lead others.

“When God has put His call on you, woe be to you if you turn to the right hand or to the left. He will do with you what He never did with you before the call came; He will do with you what He is not doing with other people. Let Him have His way.” --Oswald Chambers

• A volunteer looks upon rehearsal as another commitment they’ve been obligated to fulfill, but someone who is called of God looks forward to rehearsal as another opportunity to be used of God.
• A volunteer looks upon any constructive criticism with indignation, but someone who is called of God is grateful for feedback because he wants to be the best he can be.
• A volunteer puts in minimum effort, but someone who is called of God puts in maximum effort.
• A volunteer sits back and complains about this and that bothering him, but someone who is called of God leads a personal campaign to improve that which needs improvement.
• A volunteer feels threatened by the talent of others, but someone who is called of God praises God for distributing gifts and talents as He chooses.
• A volunteer does no outside practicing or preparation, but someone who is called of God comes to rehearsals and a performance as prepared as possible.
• A volunteer wants to quit at the first sign of adversity or discouragement, but one who is called of God digs in and perseveres.
• A volunteer is oblivious to the needs of his ministry, but someone who is called of God prays over the needs of his ministry.
• A volunteer is more prone to jealousy of others, but someone who is called of God praises God for distributing gifts and talents as He chooses.
• A volunteer avoids resolving relational conflict, but someone who is called of God seeks to resolve relational conflict for the sake of unity in the Church.
• A volunteer’s main source of fulfillment is their talent and abilities, but someone who is called of God knows that being used of God is the most fulfilling thing you can do with your life.
• A volunteer can’t handle being put in situations where they are going to be “stretched”, but someone who is called of God responds to God’s call with humble dependence on Him.

I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Ephesians 4:1 (NIV)

Are you living and serving where you are called or are you simply a volunteer?

Reflections on The Lord's Prayer

I can't believe it's been so long since my last post. Hopefully I can find a better rhythm to this blogging thing.

Anyway, I was recently reading a lesson in "The Spiritual Disciplines Companion" about prayer that led to an interesting journal entry on The Lord's Prayer. When I took a deeper look at this prayer that I have known for some time now, I was surprised by the insights that came. Here's are those thoughts...

Our Father,

Father. What an incredible father you are--full of authority, full of love. Our father--You are not just my father, but are father to many. I am a part of a larger family, the body of Christ. So much of the time, I don't see others. Forgive me for those times.

Who art in heaven,

You are in a place I long to be. You are waiting an dpreparing for the arrival of your children. Sometimes, though, I feel like you're miles away.

hallowed by your name.

This is about your name, not mine. Your name is to be revered, cherished, treasured above all others. You reign over us. Forgive me when I have made all of this about me.

Your kingdom come.

I want your kingdom's characteristics to be evident on earth. Help us to live in your kingdom now. show us your plan for our lives--our relationships, our priorities, our words and actions--great and small. This is about Your kingdom, not one I'm building.

Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Your will. Here. Now. Nothing more. Nothing less. Nothing else.

Give us today our daily bread.

We are only promised today and I know you will provide for us today. Each day is new with new challenges and new mercies. You will meet our needs--not our extravagant wants. All that we are given comes from you.

forgive us our debts...

I am in desperate need of your forgiveness. I mess up. Over and over again. I know that I fall short. I know that I will never be able to make up the difference without your grace and mercy.

as we forgive our debtors.

I'm not sure I want you to forgive me the way I forgive others, though. I'm not always as compassionate as I want you to be. Change that about me. Help a well of compassion to grow within me so I can extend to others the kind of forgiveness I want to receive.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

If you are going to lead me anywhere, that means I have to follow. Help me to follow you with the kind of focus that keeps my eyes on the goal. Protect me from evil. Guard me and keep the enemy from my life, my heart, my mind, my family, those I love.

for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

For the Love of Raul

I am an introvert. It's not that I don't love people or want to live as a recluse or anything. I just renew my energy best by being alone. My husband, Matt, is also an introvert and to a greater degree than I. My daughter, Abigail, however, is quite the extrovert. And she is determined to bring the two of us out of our shell.

Abigail loves people. She is constantly asking who people are, introducing herself to them, and then, remarkably for a 3-year old, remembers them.

There are three restaurants that we frequent as a family where Abigail knows the owners. There is a lovely little Italian place by us that she likes to call "Uncle Pat's" where the owner Aaron actually introduced her to his parents one Sunday at lunch. There is a Subway between church and home where the owner, Purvey, always gives Abigail free cookies. When we pass the Subway, Abigail says, "I wonder if Purvey is there."

Then there is a wonderful Mexican restaurant (next to the Subway) where Raul works. Since Abigail was big enough to sit in a high chair, Raul has been rubbing Abigail's head and talking to her. Now, if I go into the restaurant without her, he says, "Where's the little one?" Before Abigail, I would have never had any kind of conversation with Raul. Not because of any racial or ethnic tension, but because of my own introverted personality.

That's what I thought anyway.

So, the other day we driving home from preschool and Abigail says, "Mommy, I want Raul to come over to play with me." Now, my first reaction was not good. I'm thinking there is no way Raul is coming to our house, lady. That is ridiculous. Well, we're in a series at church right now that is based on Mark 12:31 (Love your neighbor as yourself). I found myself analyzing why I didn't ever see that happening and really couldn't figure out why it couldn't....other than the semantics Abigail used that shouldn't be used when grown men and young girls are involved. Of course, I don't know that I'm going to be inviting Raul over any time soon, but I did actually think more about it not being out of the realm of possibility. It might take some time, but maybe I'll learn.

Epiphany...

Thursday of this week I had an epiphany.

I am currently studying Beth Moore's Esther with the girls in our small group. During my study this week, I came across a question that I thought was rather interesting. She asked, "What situation most recently tempted you toward mental torment?" I immediately began thinking of a flood of situations when my mind had been overwhelmed by incredibly negative thoughts in the past month or so. Some of them so often and so dark that I couldn't see past them. I was amazed by my response to this question. Beth Moore went on to say, "Because Satan has a limited leash where believers are concerned, his most powerful tactics are psychological. Though he can't possess our minds, he profoundly and destructively influences our thoughts."

She introduced me to a new level of warfare...the psychological kind.

I know this concept sounds so simple, but I cannot begin to describe the cloud that was lifted from my mind. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says to "take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ." This verse has a new depth of meaning for me now. I have struggled with depression for quite some time. I know that taking thoughts captive will not erase the depression, but the torment, that's a different story. As I began to make a list of the things that I had been thinking lately that I could categorize as "mental torment", the list was unbelievable. So many things on the list were things that I knew not to be true, but for whatever reason, lately I had been finding it hard to call them lies and truly believe that.

I Peter 5:8 says, "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." When I reviewed this verse, I began thinking about the word devour. When I looked it up, part of the definition was "to consume destructively, recklessly, or wantonly" (dictionary.com). I think there are so many times that I go throughout my day unaware of the Satan's desire to destructively, recklessly destroy me in whatever way he can. As I looked at the beginning of the verse, I see that I have to be alert enough to recognize his psychological attacks and set my mind on things above (Col 3:2).

I know this war is not over, but at least I have more weapons in my arsenal now.

Where to Begin...

There are so many things swimming in my head lately that I'm not quite sure where to begin. There's so much pressure (whether real or perceived) to write something so profound. The truth is, I want to just write from my heart and share the honest thoughts I have that may not be what some people would view as "appropriate" for a person who is a worship leader and staff member at a large church. But, I am going to go with my gut and just put the real stuff on paper...after all, this wouldn't be an "authentic peek" if I didn't, would it?

We recently began a new worship service at our church. The service has been a total paradigm shift for those who are both serving in it and who are attending. I'm on staff at a large church whose worship style is pretty contemporary and incredibly vibrant. The service I am now helping to lead is a completely different experience. The service is completely non-directed--meaning those attending choose their own response and how they feel God leading them.

Through the process of designing these services and leading worship in them, I have been completely undone. I told a few friends recently that I needed to write a book called "The Faith Journey of a Type A Person". I'm one of those people who likes to know what is going on, where I am going, and just exactly how long it is going to take me to get there. God has been trying to save me from this mindset for quite some time now. Through several life circumstances and the many things He has allowed to flow my direction, one would think I would figured out by now that I'm not going to know all these things. No such luck.

This morning during our third service, I walked in the back by the tech booth and told one of my friends that I wanted to just quit. Of course, she told me that I couldn't do that until the service was over...I sat with my journal (fortunately for me the atmosphere lends itself to that) and as I wrote I realized several things. Here's an excerpt (unedited...):

"Jesus, forgive me for not coming to you about the important things. Forgive me for not laying all of this down at your feet. I am so sorry. Help me to truly be living in a place where I can hear you. This morning's worship seems so forced. Will you help me to not make excuses? Help me to seek you with all of my heart. Help me to move from doing--from tasks and trying to make things work to truly relying on You. I know that I cannot do this on my own. I don't want to....You know how discouraged I am this morning and that I need to rest in You. Why is this so hard? Jesus, please help me to seek you and your guidance. You ARE more than enough."

When we had our inaugural service in August only 6 weeks ago, there had been countless hours of prayer and listening to the small still voice of God prior to entering into any rehearsals or the service for the morning. There hasn't been a service quite like it since. I'm one of those people who thinks that I can do it all on my own. Why do I think that way? John 15:5 says, "Apart from Me, you can do nothing." No kidding! I am finding more and more that regardless of how much I try, if I don't seek God fervently, everyone feels it.

I really don't need to quit. I just need to quit trying to do things on my own. I need to go back to the place before the first service began and say to God, "I don't know where you are planning to take me, but I'm in for the ride. Show me where the next step is....Not the next several, but the next step." Sometimes that's all He decides to give. And that's o.k.

Something to Say

So, welcome to my first post at life.worship.art. Last year I attempted to start a blog, which much to my dismay was a disappointment. This was mostly due to the fact that I just didn't write. I have some newly found blogging accountability (thanks, R2!) and I have a list of topics so long that I know that I need to begin writing...now.

I'm a huge advocate for only speaking if you really have something to say. So, here's my attempt at saying something that's worth taking the time to read.